In my last editorial (Salesian Bulletin: Summer 1997), I wrote that many adults harbor resentment against today's youth and that young people constitute the most discriminated and most oppressed segment of society around the world. It was suggested that youth were coming "after" us, not only in the sense of following us, but in a more ominous sense. It seems we fear them as well as resent them. Two surveys bear this out.
One survey reveals that only 37% of adults feel that today's children, once they become adults, will make the United States a better place. A startling 67% opined that teenagers were "rude," "irresponsible" and "wild," and 48% said young children were "spoiled."
A companion survey among 12- to 17-year-olds suggests that a majority of their peers need more guidance from adults and 66% said that faith in God was an important part of their life. However, few believed they themselves were respectful toward each other or adults.
It would be presumptuous at this time to propose any definitive solutions that would correct the above percentages, but Don Bosco and the Salesian tradition do offer criteria. Don Bosco proclaimed the values of the Gospel in a way that young people could understand. He demonstrated through his charism and practice a pro-active method of working for and with youth. In this way he helped them understand and deal with society and the circumstances in which they found themselves.
We must put ourselves in the younger generation's place. Remember how we grew up? Remember how we acted in junior high school, high school and college? What pranks and dust-ups we got into! How many times we found clumps of our parents' hair on the living room floor when we got home after having a "great" time! Every year we hear of the exaggerations and sometimes tragic results of college pledge weeks, "hell" weeks and fraternity and sorority initiations. (Remember those now-forbidden "initiations?" I almost electrocuted a teacher when I devised an electric chair for Halloween and he was rash enough to be the first subject!) And yet today youth have to deal with alcohol, drugs, a disregard for law, a blurred sexual morality and a lack of mentoring.
A sad commentary about today's society is that there is a loss of civility, of basic courtesy, of politeness. We must reclaim these values. St. Francis de Sales once said that "a saint is a perfect gentleman." Where does one learn to be a gentleperson? Naturally, the first school is the home. Gentility must be taught in our schools and reinforced by the example and admonition of adults whenever rudeness is exhibited. But it must be done with the smiling affability characteristic of St. Francis de Sales and St. John Bosco.
Our approach to youth cannot be adversarial. Don Bosco told his followers that in order to have youth respect you, you must get them to love you. Now there's a task! Whatever we do, it must be done with a smile and an expression of concern for the young person. Our corrections, advice, suggestions, reprimands must not be arrogant, supercilious, patronizing. They must be tempered by practice and honed by the refinement of personal experience. We must tell our youth that we love them.
The Message of Jesus Christ is alive and living in us. Wethe spouses, parents, neighbors, educators, et al.are the apostles to our youth. By their own admission they need guidance and mentoring. We provide this through our example and advice. Several articles in this issue show how the Salesian family provides this in a school setting.